Forget Me Not
by Sadazen
Summary: Set a few minutes before the mind wipe, Arty and Holly talk alone. Some OOC-ness... I think. Songfic to "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch. Ü


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Not the song, or the characters. Just the fic.

**Forget Me Not**

****

Artemis Fowl was in a daze. His mind was wandering, something that didn't happen. Usually.

He was in his study, and Butler and Juliet were with him, but at the same time it seemed as if his soul had left his body, and was watching from the wings. He heard his own voice speaking to them through someone else's ears, and saw them through eyes that were not his own. He was not himself.

From another's point of view, Artemis was as he had always been. Quiet, reserved, prepared for anything. No one saw the mist behind his eyes, or heard the tremors in his voice that he tried to will away, but never really could. And yet, somehow, the mutual discomfort that they all felt somehow made itself known. They knew what lay in store for them. In a few short minutes, their memories of the past few years or so would be wiped from their minds as if they had never been there. Though they had used every means possible to record their memories and possibly recover them later on, Artemis wasn't feeling very confident. Something told him that, whether he eventually recovered his memories or not, he would suffer from this mind- wipe so much more than they.

Just then, Juliet's voice rose him from his reverie.

"You know, Artemis, maybe it would be better to let these memories go. Give the fairies some peace of mind."

"These memories are a part of who I am," was his reply. And he meant it from the very bottom of his heart.

_Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by_

He had been given a little time to himself before the mind-wipe. A few minutes, to settle any unresolved issues. To think.

So there he was, sitting on the steps leading up to Fowl Manor. He never sat there. Usually.

But he was sitting there now. And even as he sat there, hidden behind his mask of cool composure, his emotions were wreaking havoc inside of him. He felt so many things, so many feelings that were so new to him that he had no names for them. They were there even now, those nameless feelings chipping away at the pieces of his soul, creating a void there that was growing steadily bigger.

He knew that the void had always been there. He'd always remembered it as a vague feeling of sadness, an emptiness in his heart. Not very long ago he had so foolishly believed that he had found something to fill that emptiness.

It had all started with her. Even when she had detested him, she could get into his head the way no one ever could. She had hated him with everything in her, and yet he had unintentionally shown her the boy that still lived somewhere in him. The boy he should have been. And she had seen, and drawn that boy out of him. She had changed him. He loved her for that.

He had never felt that kind of love before. The kind of love that you needed more than life, more than breathing. The kind of love that could hurt so much and still make you feel like you needed that pain. The kind of love that could fill any gap in your soul... like the one he had.

That was why it was so hard for him to let go of his memories. He would forget all he had known, all he had seen. He would forget her, and everything she had given him unknowingly. He didn't think he could take that.

And all the while he cursed himself for falling in love with Holly Short.

_I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
Feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend_

Holly came through the two large doors of the manor, out into the cool night air. She caught sight of Artemis almost immediately, seated on the front steps.

There was something that didn't feel right in the scene. Even from behind, she could sense his melancholy. The cold façade was gone, and his pent-up emotions surfaced. This was Artemis as no one had ever seen him before. Something about that moment made Holly want to reach out and put her arms around him.

But she didn't. Instead, she crossed the short space between them, and sat down on the steps by his side.

_And I said,  
Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

For a moment, nothing was said between them. She wasn't even sure that he knew she was there. Then Artemis spoke, though she didn't know if he was speaking to her or simply thinking aloud.

"Is my time up?"

"I just came out here to check if you were all right," she replied softly. "You don't have to go back in yet."

"Why wouldn't I be all right?"

"You look sad."

Artemis sighed, a slow, heavy sigh that seemed to make the night colder. "In a few minutes, all my memories of the past sixteen months, at the very least, will be wiped from my mind. Don't you think something like that might make a person sad?"

Holly couldn't help feeling slightly shocked. The boy she'd known sixteen months earlier would never say such a thing. "You've changed, Artemis."

"Have I?"

"Very much so."

_I still get lost in your eyes  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes, and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right_

Artemis looked up. "I wish it didn't have to end like this."

"It's better this way. For all of us," Holly answered, trying to reassure him. "Even without your memories, you'll still have that gifted mind of yours. And you have your father back now. You and your parents can be a proper family again. And there's still Butler and Juliet. You'll have everything you need. So you'll be all right."

"Everything I need..." he repeated. "You're right, I suppose. It's just that..."

"Yes?"

"There are just some... things, you know? Some things that are hard for me to let go, even if in a few moments they won't matter, because I won't remember them. They're a part of everything I am. That's why... the minutes I spend out here... are the last few minutes that I really have all of me." He berated himself mentally. How could he tell her that it was her that he couldn't let go?

"I'm sorry." It was all she could say.

"So am I."

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

Holly laid her hand on his shoulder. "Artemis... If there was any other way..."

"I know. I understand."

"But?"

"Pardon?"

"I feel a 'but' coming on. You know, you understand, but?"

He shook his head. "No, it's nothing."

"Nothing's ever 'nothing' with you, Artemis. Tell me."

"I know. I understand, but..." He dropped his head into his hands. "But... oh, Holly, I will miss you."

_And it hurts to want  
Everything and nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time_

His words took her aback for a moment, and, for once, Holly Short didn't know what to do. She sat by him, completely unsure of what to do or say, unsure of herself.

Suddenly, in a rush of memory, her different encounters with Artemis came back to her. She had resented him at first, hated him more than anything on the face of the Earth and beneath it. But then. . . after a while, something changed. It was like the despicable creature that had been Artemis Fowl slowly faded away, and she saw him in a different light. She didn't know what had caused the change, but she was glad of it. And she knew that he did have a heart. He'd showed it to her so many times.

She'd always thought that, after this whole affair was over, she would be able to settle back into her normal life and completely forget about Artemis Fowl, no longer caring about what happened to him. But now it seemed that she couldn't help but care. Though little arguments would ensue between them whenever they met, Artemis Fowl and Holly Short had been friends. They cared about each other, though neither of them would say so to the other. They had been through hell together (several times), and made it through.  
And it was then, sitting on the steps in the gathering dark that always comes just before the dawn, that Holly realized that she loved him. And she would miss him, too.

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

Holly did the only thing she could do at the moment. She put her arms around him as far as they could go, placed her head on his shoulder and cried, a lump in her throat. She cried for everything they had been through. Cried for the future that lay ahead for her, that didn't include him, and never would. And most of all, she cried for him, and the love that she had known too late.

Then Artemis was holding her, and to her surprise, he was crying too. It was enough to break her heart, and yet there was something oddly comforting about it. They clung to each other, the tears streaming silently, unchecked, knowing that these few minutes they had together were worth a million goodbyes.

Artemis' voice broke the silence suddenly.

"I don't want to forget this."

She lifted her head to be able to look into his eyes, and touched his cheek with gentle fingers. "There are some things that you'll never forget. Ever. No matter what."

"What do you mean?"

Holly smiled through her tears. "I give you my love, Artemis. My love always." She rose on her knees and kissed him on the forehead, as light as a breeze on a spring morning. "You won't ever forget that."

"Would you forget me?"

"I doubt I could, even if I wanted to. I will miss you, certainly, more than you and I will ever know." And one more tear streamed down her cheek, for elves only truly love once.

"I guess this is goodbye, then," he said regretfully. "I don't suppose I'll ever see you again."

"No, I don't suppose so." Holly hugged him close, one more time. A last goodbye. "But just because you can't see something doesn't mean it isn't there."

_And when the stars fall, I will lie awake  
You're my shooting star_

_  
_**END**

A/N: Finished!!! Salvation!!! So. . . liked it? Hated it? Let me know what you think. Your comments will be appreciated. Thanks! Peace out! :)


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